fernando ramos: music/lyrics
Click song title for lyrics:
bring out your roses | hades | billy reflects
standing tall | a folded postcard | empty handed
candlelight in the night
he was here | cry child cry | the letterthe screened-in porch (the lyrics)
bring out your roses (january 2003)
bring out your Roses and wait for your sons
welcome them in
you gotta welcome them in
they come uniformed in drapes of civility
to patron the scorn of their mangled nobility
and there at your door you deny them an entrance
cuz you hold your contempt far above their absence
and how many times you said
that they were your everything
bring out your Roses and wait for your sons
welcome them in
you gotta welcome them in
you want them as you the classical charlatan
you’re still holding to your cardinal arrogance
an image of you descendance and ancestry
to put on display a morbid nativity
and would you be nice to them
if they weren’t your sons
remember those days when they sat by your side
asking their questions and you with replies
you were their idols and you were their heroes
but you turned your back when they offered their secret
so bring out your Roses and wait for your sons
hades (march 2001)
it makes sense it would come to this
so bitter--bitter head
like a dragon from the river styx
this little--little bit
tiny punctures from the fire breath
hold him high is it all okay?
catch the traitor at his healing game
drown him in your underworld
hey hey hey hades
rising free
mr. paul bunyan
chop a tree for me
build a cage and let me in
strike a chord and let him sing
too bad he’s closing in
exiting that underworld
somewhere he’s burning
for somebody else’s
gasping the fire
into his existence
let him go
leave him alone
just let him go
release him
do you know there is suffering
just a bit but enough for two
and i know there’s a generous
little--little bird
climbing walls for the refugees
aim the gun and shoot the String
too bad these chains are linked
down below your underworld
hey hey hey hades
mercy please
can’t take this harvesting
solidarity
seal the pact and tear the page
cut the skin to sign my name
roll the scroll and let him win
blowing up his underworld
billy reflects (february 2001)
daddy is finally coming
daddy is finally here
and billy is good at avoiding
telling his daddy he’s queer
and mary his sister was naughty
she liked to kiss the black boys
till one day she turned into mommy
and all of her hopes were destroyed
tantrums are never the answer
laughter is always the way
but when all those prayers go unanswered
tears always reap like a plague
and one day when billy got angry
he lashed out from hiding with joy
but daddy bewildered his nasty
when all of his hopes were destroyed
he grabbed his billy and hugged him
and billy did not understand
and mary was there when it happened
she saw how they both took their stand
but billy he ran from his suffering
ran through the Forest of pines
never succumbing to longing
for peace in a role he’d resign
cuz who was to steer
when he was in fear
of knowledge newly exposed
and what of the years
that he hid behind tears
never indulging a dose
of self acceptance
of self importance
of self reliance
of self
and mommy decided to ask him
if any of it was true
and billy looked up and he nodded
and he asked her “how are you?”
and she cried a bit
and she died a bit
but then she thought of it
her billy was good
meanwhile his mary and niece
lived in each other’s blessed arms
and mommy and daddy made peace
when billy was finally unarmed
but sometimes in front of the mirror
billy looks back from glass
and he smiles and he waves from the Distance
i say hello and au revoir
standing tall (january 2002)
we’re standing tall today
we must have slept well
but still i’m sluggish
and i want a cookie
and there’s a song playing on repeat
keeps making me cry
and i’ve got this urge to do something
but i don’t know what
and you go to the bathroom
and i follow you in
you’re busy brushing your pearls
so i just look down
and soon we’re Waltzing back to bed
and you notice me
and you tell me to be patient
that i’m being weak
we’re too fond of movie lines
midtown bars and twilight dines
passersby with roaming eyes
this control has got to slide
we’re too fond of red light dreams
cabarets and salt extremes
brief-white love and lavish scenes
this control must soon unhinge
so for now we just hold ourselves
and i try to be strong for you
and just when you begin to cry
i might just smile
but that’s not unusual
to be so confused
no it’s not that strange you know?
not know what to do
what do we do now?
a folded postcard (february 2003)
she peeks in notecards
she hides the Dirt
a folded postcard
inside her shirt
a little vagueness
a bleached-blonde lie
it’s just conception
between the lines
an early morning
a foggy scene
a look-out point or
a lovers’ cliff
where kisses spilled once
and love was won
then someone argued
and one was wronged
here lies one girl and her only son
so turn the clock to feel again
and strip the lust she bore on him
that drop of blood that trailed the seam
she cut the stress to be released
all she wanted was a miracle
all she wanted was a miracle
but she sought too late
now her conception
lies buried there
and all she carries
are old letters
within the Forest
there is a Ghost
it knows her secret
it waits for her
and in she walks yes
the whitest Mare
not quite the same no
since that affair
with death her rider
she summoned him
and guilt her saddle
she nurtures it
so turn the clock to start again
and strip the loss she suffered him
that drop of love that trailed her heart
she cut the beat to craft him art
all she wanted was a miracle
well now she has her little miracle
a rush of words that make her lyrical
she sings again with her own miracle
she must believe that is her miracle
or she’ll know too late
she’ll know too late
everything that he was ... everything he was
empty handed (june 2002)
at once the summer loses heat
the day unfolds a chilly eve
i close my eyes and i’m back on that Corner
the walls the lights a road repaved
that vicious web untangled tamed
oh yes it saved me too
i conjured reasons to believe
yet fate disarmed me with its leave
but guess what i still believe
take this from me
i’ll give i will give
i thought that this--this must be heaven
a fire born then quickly lessened
i learned isn’t holy enough
so i’ll migrate i’ll stear the north
and once i’m there i will ignore
that heaven’s doors are free reign in some religions
cuz choosing once to be a fool
destroyed that sense of gratitude
a little death for sins beyond their recognition
take this from me
i’ll give i will always give
and soon in circles
shapes of eight
resentment will spawn
a breed of hate
and i’ll go off again
in all directions
i will stray
i’ll say no more i’ll speak my peace
a hand which begs matrimony
and i will carve the core of beauty’s fruit
and place it in my mouth
i’ll chew it all and spit the Seeds
and leave the peals of my defeat
cuz losing this was not what i’d intended
can’t you understand?
so take me from this
i’ll give but i’ll want it all
and take this from me
take it but give me something back
yeah give me something back
cuz now i’m empty handed
candlelight in the night (august 2003)
candlelight in the night we were sitting
in the screened-in porch of my parent’s house
smile at me c’est la vie we were swimming
through the distant cliffs of a mighty mighty verbal shore
hear the bugs give a shrug to the passing of
a sudden breeze a gentle Wind we could never see
all it takes is a break from this vigilance
cover me count to three i’ll be leaning in
for the kiss this little miss has been dreaming of and
for the rush of nervous blood in our fingertips cuz
to open up you buckle up ready set you’re off on
another ride another thrill and you’re down the Hill
we’re looking out the window
to look right past ourselves
we’ve taken all that’s simple
and named it something else
we were fun we were young we were obvious
we were typical predictable in every way
we held fast saved the last of our temperament
now we’re old we are scorned we are woeful babes
play us up let it blast just consume in it
we see it once and then it’s gone so get back to it
a megaton of blown-up sod is raining down
fuck the broom! it’s your doom! so just dive in it
in this mess this little mister’s been prancing in and
in this rush of anxious blood in our fingertips cuz
to open up you fuel it up ready set you’re off on
one last ride one last thrill and you’re off the Hill
we’re looking out the window
to look right past ourselves
we’ve taken all that’s simple
and named it something else
candlelight in the night we were sitting
in the screened-in porch of my parent’s house
smile at me c’est la vie we were swimming
through the distant cliffs of a mighty mighty quiet shore
he was here (june 2003)
i understand what you have said
you reprimand him for his debt
to your bed
you’ll seek him out till he has paid
you’ll wear the price above his head
till he’s dead
free will was never here
it’s clear what he’s to feel
embarking now on your crusade
you’ll sail to what can only end
in regret
for he has gathered all his strength
and he has conquered all your Lands
some brave men
it’s clear he held you dear
but now he’s one to fear
within him lies a trace
of that old fashioned grace
take off your mask and make it fast
we’ll see just how long you can ...
last
and when those fires in our souls
have burned out long before we’re old
we’ll all fall
it’s clear he once was here
perhaps he’s dissappeared
oh no, it seems you’ve won
oh god, what have you done?
and if you were leaving
it wouldn’t surprise me much
to find him one more time
right there by your bed
and if you had been kind
if you had been noble
you wouldn’t have fought him down
until the lies came pouring out
from your mouth
if you had seen his face that night
you would have given up the fight
for your life
cry child cry (february 1997)
a boy whose mother never knew
his lifetime of despair
watching in despair
and i knew his mother was not there
to catch him when he fell
from his Swing he fell
unto a world he knew
could never love him back
despite all his attacks
crying in a black cold unsheltered home
where no one ever shared
affection for his tears
nor would they care
if the child was never there
but this child awakened from his dreams
and sighed upon the Winds
a million countless prayers
that even to this day they rest upon his lips
pressed upon his lips
silent on his lips
just waiting for their day
and then the child learned
his dreams would soon be real
despite of all his fears
hope for once was near
his lonely bleeding heart
where anger once bloomed
taking Innocence away
forced to give up on his youth
leaving childhood behind
in a buried Hourglass
so cry
cry child cry
cry all your tears
cry out your rage
cry for you’re alive
cry child cry
let it all out
shed all your pain
for you’re the one they hurt
cry lovely child
you finally made it out
you finally found your peace
you finally found yourself
the letter (july 2003)
he changed his name
he robbed the bank of his longing
sealed it tight inside the pouch
and once a month
he checked the box at a post office
in some remote suburban town
but nothing came
no nothing came
nothing came to that address
and then he’d walk
two miles south of the River
where once a man had traded lives
and in those Woods
a little cottage he rented
a short commune from destiny
funny how the years go by and by, he thought
pedaling the chains of every life
funny how the years don’t waste no time
leaving everything to fend the dark
he threw the line
into the waters of Passage
and fed away on his regrets
a wealth of sins he kept
beneath the floor of his closet
no small amount of interest
until the day
a letter came
with a message from his past
he held it there
against his chest
until the tears regained their trust
"funny how you don’t come home at all," it read
"maybe you should come home today
funny how you don’t come home at all
are you lost there in the dark?
you were once the son of dreaming
weaving stories through the night
(indayin indayout indayin indayout)
left your heart in deep arrest
for all the beauty that you craved
(indayin indayout indayin indayout)
you were perfect contemplation
but your mind was unresolved
(indayin indayout indayin indayout)
so you packed up all your things
and then said goodbye to love
(indayin indayout indayin indayout)
but it’s not your fault
that they sunk you down
(indayin indayout indayin indayout)
and it’s not your fault
that you let yourself drown
(indayin indayout indayin indayout)
cuz not one of them
could say it better than you
(indayin indayout indayin indayout)
no not one of them
could feel it better than you
(indayin indayout indayin indayout)
funny how you don’t just realize
(it’s the fear that we fight indayin indayout)
that everyone just keeps their passions tied
(covered up in some lies indayin indayout)
it doesn’t really mean we cannot find
(a someway a somehow indayin indayout)
a little inspiration in the dark
are you lost there in the dark?"
he kept his name
repaid a debt to his conscience
sealed the rest in envelopes
and once a month
he’d mail one out from that post office
in some remote suburban town
All songs © 2003 Fernando Ramos