fernando ramos: music/lyrics
Click song title for lyrics:
answer me | never fall | dirt love | look ma (no hands)
someone tell him | not there | babel (deleted verse from alive again)
diminished | ballet | of mice | pit
shiny parts | suffering turin | king maggot
likewise | ambrosia | alive againdirt love (the lyrics)
answer me (november 2000)
answer me
does it really cost that much to
answer me
must you really walk away
each time i ask of you
answer this you said
did you really think i could just
answer after
all the shit you drove me to
and all the times you said that we were through
so answer me i said
i’ve handed you a million truths
yet you refuse me this
you offer only reprimands
did pity kill the kiss behind your lips
it just takes a moment
a word or two that cannot be fixed
you say i’ll justify it
i say that truth will never twist
yeah just an honest moment
answer me
and did you stop to think about me much along the way?
and did you stop to think that no one else could take your place?
huh?
you left it lying in your phantom bed
you slipped it in and then you hid the rest
and if my fucking’s like a marionette
well make it better baby give it head
all the Strings within your coward grip
a tug a tug it till the yank gets wet
and behind these walls i’ve formed
(lies a River and a Mountain)
there’s a man with a shovel and a Stone
(only pride is on the Mountain)
i wonder if he’ll figure out
(only fools go to the Mountain)
from where that Stone came tumbling down
(only exit is the River)
it’s a curiousity
(it’s a curiousity)
and when inside your darkness did you start to hate?
and when did all our struggles start to turn into waste?
huh?
i can still remember
that day we were outside
in that Parking Lot
the way you said goodbye
well i’m still here
alone
alone
can’t you see these scars are bleeding
(bordering on pathetic)
can’t you see these wounds ain’t healing
(it’s the price i can pay it)
can’t you see this man is kneeling
(please just answer my question)
waiting for some kind revealing
(if it’s bad don’t you sweat it)
and inside my darkness you arrive
(i just need you to say it)
i dream you
(say it)
i see you
i know you
(say it)
you touch me
and disappear
answer me
(answer me)
does it really cost that much to
answer me
(answer me)
must you leave me only silence
as the last memory
never fall (december 2000)
i remember back then
before the leaves turned red
how every day passed by
and we never looked ahead
and i remember when we were young
and we sat in that old school yard
all i wanted was to tell you
just how beautiful you are
you are
but now we are all grown and stubborn
stupid some of us would say
and you the last cloud in the sky
that will forever remain gray
yeah well but i’ve got that little reminder
you gave me just the other day
it’s buried deep inside of my pocket
so i’ll never go astray no no
let me tell you about this boy that i once loved
and let me tell you how he
how he tore me up and
and he sowed me up and
and he left me on a warm autumn day
yeah well and i know that i will never fall again because of it
cuz i know that i’ll always look behind me again
let me tell you all my stories
let me listen to all of yours
a child embraced by wayward hands
the sin upon her gracious glance
all she wanted was the love
of anyone at all
at all
but now you’ve been stricken and beaten
wrecked by the careless blows
and now you’ve learned to expect the rain
wherever you may go
and i know that you will someday fall again because of it
even though you’ve been looking back again and again
and again and again
and again and again
and again and again
and again
and i know that i’ll never fall again because of it
(again)
cuz i know that i’ll always look behind me again
(oh…)
dirt love (may 2006)
you are the watchful
silent and waiting
patiently hopeful and you
you are the savior
known as the sinner
never the Martyr of love
they speak of illusions
you keep on Painting
with clumsy fingers oh when
will it be your turn in this game
oh and
i am the no one
i am the nameless
body in trenches so they
can come and accuse me
label me wasted
mock me and curse me oh yes
they strike up the fire
flesh is now burning
i keep on dreaming oh when
will it be my turn in this game cuz
we are the Roses
the sons and the daughters
the maidens of honor
that’s if we get lucky
but we’ll still be Dirt at their feet
oh we’ll still be Dirt at their feet
so…
you bring me your Dirt love baby
i’ll rub it all over me
just bring me your Dirt love baby
i’ll rub it all over me
just bring me your Dirt love baby
i’ll rub it all over me
just bring me your Dirt love baby
i’ll rub it all over me
the sinner is gaining control of the sea
and the Eagle is watching tonight just to see
if i am the one who will fold to the Wind
come River come Water come wash over me
we view ourselves dirty so dirty i’ll stay
and besides it’s in Dirt where i play at my best
in Stones they have polished these Roots cannot bend
come River come Water come wash over me
just bring me your Dirt love baby
i’ll rub it all over me
just bring me your Dirt love baby
i’ll rub it all over me
just bring me your Dirt love baby
i’ll rub it all over me
just bring me your Dirt love baby
i’ll rub it all over me
just bring me your
just bring me your
just bring me your
Dirt love baby
look ma (no hands) (february 2005)
look ma no hands no tears no face
fingers dimples all gone i ate
my eyes i’m Blind again
no lips no smile no teeth no sex
no me no more
no me no more
look pa no rage my sport is dead
i’m Benched i’m calm i’m tamed now play
some catch just throw the ball
no bats no caps no glove perhaps some love
no me no more
(no me no more)
no me no more
look sis no child no man no house
just fences and friends who say that they love
but i don’t want this love
just yours and mine no Strings fuck Strings
they say no Strings
they lie there’s Strings
lovers with Strings
yeah they all have Strings
they tie their knots
and stake their claim
no hands no face
they’re tied to Strings
even
(oh so lovely)
your god
(with his Strings)
look god
(they all seem to have their Strings)
oh god
just tempt your fates to ward themselves of me
and cut these Strings that Tug at me endlessly
we walk inside the thunder clouds
we hear that grumble leaking out
with sweaty fingers clawing up
to tear the Strings from out their throat
(pinocchio)
we speak in layman’s in these parts
we offer kisses to the dark
i snap the cocks off selfish men
but where’d my voice go?
where’d my voice go?
i ate it
i ate it
i ate it
someone tell him (november 2001)
someone tell him that i love him
someone tell him not to cry
someone please assure him
i’m his little boy tonight
someone tell him he has made me
into the man i am today
someone please inform him
i’m glad he made me stay
someone tell him he has given
all a man could ever want
someone please reveal him
this pride for all we’ve overcome
someone please tell him
someone please tell him
someone please tell him for me
cuz i can’t do it right
someone tell him that i need him
someone tell him not to die
someone please convince him
he’s still Dancing in my life
someone please tell him
someone please tell him
someone please tell him for me
cuz i can’t do it right
why does this nostalgia have to rip me up
and why does this Ghost of me make me feel so sad
there is no reason
(there is no reason)
i swear i swear that
there is no reason
(there is no reason)
there is no reason
(there is no reason)
i swear i swear that
there is no reason
(there is no reason)
someone tell him not to leave me
(someone tell me that he loves me)
oh even when i’m difficult
(even when he makes me cry)
someone please remind him
(someone please assure me)
that without him there’s no pulse
(cuz he can’t do it right)
someone please tell him
someone please tell him
someone please tell him for me
cuz i can’t do it right
someone please tell him
someone please tell him
someone please tell him for me
cuz i can’t do it right
no i can’t do it right
no i can’t do it right
not there (december 2000)
every time he turns around
there is someone else
trying to ’suade him where to go
don’t they know it’s not fair
pulling children by the hair
through the bond of Innocence
raising laughter like they raise their gods
holding candy in their palms
and it’s not there
what they wanted you to see no
it was never there
and it’s not there
where they told you it would be no
it was never there
now that Distance stands between us
it’s unlikely to tell (woh-ooh woh-ooh woh)
whether games were made for pleasing
or a method of control (woh-ooh woh-ooh woh)
still i search for a way to go
to find these gifts i once adored
but all i get is this fucking resistance
and not a cracked or an opened door
don’t let them choose for you
when you can choose your own
don’t let them choose for you
when you can choose your own
run faster
run faster boy
break through them
break through them all
run faster
run faster boy
break through them
break through them all
run faster
run faster boy
break through them
break through them all
run
run
run
run
cuz it’s not theirs
you can take it if you want to
it was never theirs
no it’s not theirs
reinvent it if you want to
it was never theirs
and it’s not there
what they wanted you to see no
it was never there
and it’s not there
where they told you it would be
it was never there
it was never there
it was never there
it was never there
it was never there
babel (deleted verse from alive again) (november 2000)
i built
a little tower
extracted
every essence of me
i decorated
The Land with it
but you came
and made it all crumble down
down
now i am
so many faces
so many colors
i’ll have to Paint me again
i’ll have to Paint me
diminished (september 2001)
a piece may fall
break apart
at the instance of the crash
for what i thought was one
what i thought was one
is many
and i’m searching through the dust
for a single particle
i can hold unto forever
and you make me feel this way
yeah you make me feel this way
and you make me feel this way
yeah you make me feel this way
a Spell is cast
the whip is lashed
and a vow gets broken
so you grab a brush
and you Paint your face
but you’ve yet to find the Mirror
oh the need
just hold it in
and search until forever
cuz you make me feel this way
yeah you make me feel this way
oh you make me feel this way
yeah you make me feel this way
what’s the use in being brave
when you lose all that you gave
you know nothing lies in wait for you
and you beckon endlessness
as it tickles on your chest
do you feel it slowly wake for you
it reminds me of a past
that forsakened me away
i remember that we witnessed it
as it held its hand with Time
and they ran off to the River
but they never left me feeling
smaller than i ever did on that day
no they never left me feeling
smaller than i ever did on that day
on that day
on that day
you diminished me
i wanna know what it feels like
to make somebody feel this way well
i wanna know what it must be like
to make somebody feel this way well
does it feel good
have you got a hard-on
does it feel good
did you get a stiff one babe
does it feel good
(rub it rub it)
have you got a hard-on
(rub it rub it)
does it feel good
(rub it rub it)
did you get a stiff one babe
(rub it rub it)
well i – i hope you did
i hope you did
cuz you diminish me
you diminish me
ballet (december 2007)
take me away i caught your eye
not really me but the book i had
you said put it away it’s not safe here
nothing but questions one should never ask
it takes me away from all of this
a couple of days then you spent the night
we faced each other by the candlelight
i cut into you and you cut into me
the circle was cast and we drank from life
i wanted so bad to say i love you
but all i could say was this feels strange
it was a slow yet sudden shift
all the fear that entered me
when you said this all leads to something
it always does
and then quite by luck
i felt the power we conjured begin to stir up
what we held all along
this was one battle Passage could never have touched
no not yet – we weren’t grown up
no not yet – we weren’t grown up
no not yet – we weren’t grown up
lada didda dida didida dada
lada didda dida didida dada
who said we could
who said we could
but you just had to kiss me
i could taste my blood on your lips
i could feel the magic pouring in
as i learned the madness they call sin
i could feel my body wanting in
and oh i could have killed you then
oh it was like rapturing
and oh i could have killed you then
i was so Innocent
but who said i was
maybe i never was
and then it was done
the candles dimmed out
our passions were thrown to the dark
still i sensed someone there
a Stranger in our midst
who’d been waiting for this
and you said
gimme your hand
i won’t let him take you
just gimme your hand
i know how to keep you safe for now
just give me your hand and
trust me trust me trust me
trust me trust me trust me
i closed my eyes
and did as you asked
you pulled me to you
and led me into Dance
it was like a ballet
to one man’s dream
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
it takes me away
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
it takes me away
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
you take me away
from all of this
take me away i caught his eye
not really me but the secrets i hide
you said i’ll be okay i’m quite safe here
nothing to fear while this Dance goes on
of mice (june 2001)
pacing through this ancient Labyrinth
smell the smoke that keeps us seeping in
don’t you wonder – don’t you wonder
why this Maze reveals itself to him
hey yeah – hey hey hey hey yeah
found myself some of kind of dire need
to send me telegrams from sheath to skin
a holding handfuls – a holding mindfuls
a holding buckets of apologies
hey yeah – hey hey hey hey yeah
sought himself a brand new sin
stealing words that don’t belong to him
don’t you enter – don’t you bend her
to manipulate those words for me
hey yeah – hey hey hey hey yeah
hey hey hey hey yeah
hey yeah
stay quiet in that clearing
each move a sound he’s hearing
pretend to just feel nothing
each heartache in its hiding
hey hey hey hey yeah – oh-ah
each move you make he sees it
which way to turn to seize it
he’s got you at the Corner
while charting every border
hey hey hey hey yeah – oh-ah
uh-huh we’re like mice in his trap
uh-huh we’re like mice in his trap
let’s go scurry away
let’s go scurry away
that kitten runs too fast for us
we make a turn but we’re still lost
inside this Maze there is no luck
this is his home these are his walls
the chase is on
but is that cheese?
i’m gonna get mine
yeah you just wait and see
a little morsel is all i really need
oh no no – don’t try it
not this time – cuz this time
it’s all mine
i got me covered so don’t
don’t even bother cuz it
it doesn’t matter no more
it doesn’t matter no more
i got me covered so don’t
don’t even bother cuz it
it doesn’t matter no more
it doesn’t matter no more
i see the exit and it
it doesn’t matter no more
i see the exit and it
it doesn’t matter no more
no more no more no more no more no more
no more no more no more
na-na-na-na-no more
we’re like mice in a trap
it doesn’t matter no more
(it doesn’t matter no more)
i see the exit and it
it doesn’t matter no more
that kitten runs
the chase is on
feel this patience slowly growing thin
as this pulse that rises soon to singe
well no more sorry’s – and no more worries
finally caught you at your little scheme
hey yeah
(i finally caught you at your)
hey hey hey hey yeah
i finally caught you at your little scheme
hey yeah
pit (september 2001)
cast away your science
manipulate your shadow
you’re losing recognition
it’s getting hard to follow
how carefully they’re chosen
they twirl around with logic but
these words that you have spoken
are basic mathematics
so you base it on mnemonics
and you base it on the language
yeah you base it on your scholarly grasp of humanity
and you weep in only sentences
no tears just a steady voice
and forbidden lies the concept of emotional impairment
from the pit of your belonging
we are moving onward
to the pit of your beginning
we must find the chamber where
you have wandered hidden in
your formulas and patterns or
you will wander aimlessly
forever in your silence
shiny parts (march 2001)
stand right here – face the door
look in through the tinted glass
there’s a part of me that you won’t see
from the outside peeking in
and now that our time has passed
i beg to understand the reasons why
Reflections dim like honesty
but soon return to say
wake! hold the night for me
wake! take me back
to The Land
where i could shapeshift any sight
sit right here – i will sit with you
i brought us lunch and tiny vacant Frames
we’ll capture this in one of them
in case we soon forget
it’s then you will show your face to me
(oh i will)
and i will know what I have missed
(oh you will)
and we’ll expose our darkest parts but
(they will be)
they will be shiny
(they will be they will be)
still i pretend that it’s a lie
and with a fist i punch the door
i watch the crack split you in two
one shapes billy
the other you
still i remain the shiny one
but we both know that shiny parts
shiny parts us
so wake! bring the torch for me
wake! take me back
to The Land
where i could mimic every smile
till then the crack must learn to seal
the Frames will hang in company
but as i turn to leave
i give it one last Glimpse
that glistening glass
and i begin to weep
suffering turin (june 2001)
the last ember of your face
has dimmed away amidst the ash
and all that’s left is the curl
of our last cruel descent
“it’s getting cold in here” you said
we were naked and both were scared
and your skin trailed around me
when the laughter had ceased
“and is it sin?” you kindly asked
perhaps it was and indeed we were
enwrapped like Ghosts in sodom
enwrapped like outcasts of The Land
and you looked in my eyes
as if therein lied the answers
your breath a silent prayer
while mine a silent curse
“are we real?” you always ask
“we are beautiful” i always say
determined truth was in my heart
and fear inside of yours
“won’t you be practical?” you say to me
“won’t you be functional?” i say to you
and perhaps i fought to believe
we were in fact what we conceived
but now my eyes are opened wide
so wide that i can see you there
lying still in the dark
you amend your flesh with blood
ohhh
“i must leave” you say to me
and slowly unwrap yourself of me
and so you leave an Innocent
well what greater sin than that?
will no one help me
will no one save me
i suffered the sins
i suffered the child in me
i treated the case as holiest
i pondered the pain in selflessness
i sifted through words to find your truth
i gave up my soul and lost my youth
will no one help me
will no one save me
i suffered the sins
i suffered the child in me
i gave it the spark to make it burn
i gave it the love for it to yearn
i twisted myself to grueling shapes
i lifted the shroud to find your face
and still you damn me
still you damn me
a man
a man
a man
a man
king maggot (march 2005)
i am a worm today
squirming i’m on my way
searching your skin for that pore
inviting me in
and i will nest deeper inside of you
where i’ll lay hundreds of eggs
and watch them all hatch in you
watch as my children come to
they’ll ooze
amends
for the earth
then i’ll find my way out
leave you for softer ground
so others can come and
partake of you too
to be consumed by those you’ve preyed upon
to be made saint by their mouths
this is the gift i bring
this is the cloak we wear
all this for you
so kneel
and behold
king maggot
likewise (march 2002)
got no sense to think you’re into my league
got me tucked beneath that sporty fatigue
no use for this tongue i’m caving it in
i’m slamming it shut tight between these teeth
so you cannot see
but
hey you — hey you
you’re driving me crazy
hey you — hey you
you’re so fucking sexy
hey you — hey you
forgive me for staring
well it’s late afternoon now
not much on tv and i’m grown bored
of these same shows — cartoons yeah
just get here real soon
cuz this crazy withdrawal from nothing i’ve ever had
turns sighs into growls and hands into shakes
oh how i need to behave
you would be quite amazed
but
hey you (hey you) — hey you (hey you)
you’re driving me crazy
hey you (hey you) — hey you (hey you)
you’re so fucking sexy
hey you (hey you) — hey you
you’re causing a stirring
hey you in the checkered shirt
don't you know don't you know
whatcha doing to me and i said
hey you with the golden curls
don't you know don't you know
whatcha doing to me and i said
hey you with the pentacle
don't you know don't you know
whatcha doing to me and i said
hey you in the staff t-shirt
don't you know don't you know
whatcha doing to me and i said
hey you in the wife beater
don't you know don't you know
whatcha doing to me and i said
hey you in them baggy jeans
don't you know don't you know
whatcha doing to me and i said
hey you with the cowboy hat
don't you know don't you know
whatcha doing to me and i said
(i thought you knew the deal here
i guess you don’t no you don’t
silly me you’d be gone)
hey you with the saddest eyes
don’t you know don’t you know
whatcha doing to me and i said
(i thought you knew the deal here
i guess you don’t no you don’t
silly me you’d be gone)
i thought that you knew – but you don’t so
i thought that you did – but you don’t so
i’ll be on my way – nah i won’t go
i just need to behave
doo doodoo – doo – doodoo doo
shoo-baba shoo-baba shoo-baba shoo-baba
parum parumpa parum parumpa
you better come in cuz it’s rainy outside
i’ll pour you some drink or tea if you’d like
i’ll be right upstairs and yeah i’ll pour me as well
but i’ll just wake up now to find you’re not there
you’re only a glare you’re always a glare
hey you (hey you) – hey you (hey you)
you get your ass here
(you’re so fucking sexy yeah you know it)
hey you (hey you) – hey you (hey you)
you get your ass right here
(you’re driving me crazy crazy)
hey you (hey you) – hey you (hey you)
you get your ass right here right now
right now right here
(yeah you’re causing a stirring)
hey you (hey you) – hey you (hey you)
you’re so fucking sexy
you’re so fucking sexy sexy sexy
for just one close up conversation
unaware of these suggestions
going on in my head
you can ask for anything
do you need a ride?
i’ll pick you up and we can ride ride ride
then you can take the wheel
make the tires peel
and i’ll admire every way your hands on me would feel
if this were likewise – if this was likewise
if it was likewise to likewise to likewise to like
this could be likewise – this could be likewise
could this be likewise to likewise to likewise to like
ambrosia (february 2001)
these walls are closing in
and i’m out of cigarettes
the screen illuminates
my fading presence
and now i’m scared
suddenly unsure
if you will return
seems i keep forgetting
what loyalties remain
in times of subtle hatred
i fear to speak my name
cuz you left me raped
trapped within your rage
but still i bear the blame
waning
(waning)
waning
(i’m waning)
i’m waning
(like your crescent heart)
like your crescent heart
(beg to then depart)
beg to then depart
(when a part)
when a part
(of us)
of us
(grows)
grows disheartened
(disheartened)
and i’m lying to myself
while i’m lying on this Road
patiently awaiting
for my fingers to unfold
it’s then your memory
will flutter out of me
and i will seek my Cup
and fill it up again
but don’t you understand
that that day might never come
cuz you told me that you loved me
and then fucked another man
well now i am unleashed
and you’re a Cup of tea
next to
nectar
from the
gods
oh
alive again (november 2000)
i want to know
where does it show
where is my scenic route
why did it go
was it because of all the times
i told you that i love you
or was it because i crossed the line
and you were too scared to love me
i want to run
much further than before
when i was busy scraping assholes off the floor
and how do i become the prize of all
who tell me that they want this
well now that i have missed the sights i’ll go
and do a bit of paving
i want to take
that fallen Stone
press it against my ear
listen for pulse
and if i am fortunate enough
to find a beat concealed there
i’ll layer it with the dust
that rises as i’m Dancing
so what if i miss you
so what if i still love you
i’ll hold the past
if you let go it’s alright
soon i’ll look back
eventually i’ll find
that all is done
and you yes you’re still gone
sunlight breaks in through the dark
lights it brighter than any of your sparks
your sparks
and now that i’m alive again
(i’m alive again)
i see the days in a better way
(much better way)
and now that i have learned to let go
(i’ve learned to let go)
i take my pride free to pave my Road
(i’ll pave my Road)
and now that i’m alive again
(i’m alive again)
i heal what youth you couldn’t take
(so much more to take)
and now that i have learned to let go
(i’ve learned letting go)
i’m Dancing a Dance you’ll never never ever know
(i’m Dancing i’m Dancing a Dance you’ll never know)
cuz i for one will pave a Road
that leads me back to Innocence
and every curb will be a Field
that comes to life by River’s edge
where Water breaks against the rocks
i’ll plant the Seed that i have left
in remembrance of the one that i once dropped
in that Parking Lot
whose poor Roots in thirst
for life could only find your Oil
but this Seed will crack
and from birth this Root
will awaken the heart of a stillborn child
and it will smash those rocks of guilt
it’ll smash where Water failed
it will leave it all dust as it digs up its trail
but it will live
it will it will live
it’ll live
it will it will live
and now that i’m that i’m alive again
(now that i’m alive)
i see the days and they’re much better
much better
much better
(much better much better much better)
way
and now that i that i have learned to let go
(i’ve learned to let go)
i take my pride
(i take my pride i take my pride)
i pave my own Road
all songs © 2008 fernando ramos